When in South

Hola y'all!

This week was very average! Which is a good thing! Actually no. Never mind that's like the worst possible thing ever. Because if it's a good week then awesome, it's a good week. And if it's a bad week, awesome, we get to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we're better! But average is awful. We don't have a good time and we don't grow. We just sit still. But I still have stuff to email about!

I want to tell everyone a couple southern phrases. I think in one of my last emails I said the "I'm finer than a hair split 4 ways with a broad axe" and "I'm finer than chickens' teeth". Well today I'd like to share something I heard from an 80 year-old man with hair just like Donald Trump, and who claims the Civil War is still happening and refers to the Confederate flag as "ours". We were driving back from a lesson with a potential investigator, and it was raining but the sun was shining. He said "Look at that, the sun is shining while it's raining. When I was a kid we said that meant the Devil was beating his wife." Haha! He grew up baptist in case you're wondering.

Another southern-ism I noticed at least a couple farmers say is about electric drills. They don't say "drill". They say "screw gun". That looks normal now that I've written it down but it sounded hilarious when I heard it.

Progress on Al: our one investigator. He loved church last week, and he said he would come back, but this Sunday he did not show. We called him and he said he went to another church that was closer. NOOOOOO. We're gonna visit with him tomorrow and throw down about the importance of going to our church because that helps you to know it's true. You can't know of the truthfulness of the gospel in a church that doesn't preach it! Oh well. We've got some work to do. This is negative, but he's definitely not going to be baptized on April 30. But that's ok. He's not a failure and neither are we, at least we hope.

Elder Robison got his replacement Tiwi card in the mail, so no more driving for me and I'm back to full-time trainee/junior companion. Not for long though, I only have one more week of training so I'll be running Simpsonville before he knows it! That also means that next transfer I'm supposed to be capable to and I might even be assigned to train a new missionary. Oh jeez. God is watching me write this email and even worse, he knows how I feel deep in my heart. And he just might inspire President Turner to have me train some poor kid who is coming into the mission expecting a competent trainer to look up to but he's going to be stuck with me. I still don't know what "referral" means. I guess we'll see what happens on May 4. Actually I'll probably know by May 1 or 2.

On Saturday we helped the Young Women here in S-ville 2 with a fundraiser for girls camp. They did a car wash. Or I guess I should say we did a car wash. We came half an hour before it started and helped set up, washed and vacuumed cars non-stop for 5 hours, then stayed an hour to help clean up. The young women, bless their hearts, got tired after about an hour of work. And most of them showed up a couple hours late. Oh well. I'm going to go install a lightning rod on our apartment roof so I can probably catch all the blessings God's gonna send us for picking up the slack.  They did raise $870 though! Good for them!

Oh and big news: Simpsonville 2nd ward is getting a new bishop! So sad!!!! Bishop Powell, that big stud, is moving to Aiken for work or something else equally stupid. Gonna be sad to see the only family that feeds us leave. But we are going to have to get a replacement and I've done nothing these last two days but speculate. We'll see what happens I guess!

Alright yall that's it from me, if you're worried about which macaroni and cheese brand I should be buying, don't worry because I have made the greatest compromise possible (Cracker Barrel is still the best though)

Sent from the Lord's iPad